I haven't posted on here in AGES.
DAMN.
Anyway...

Life is busy. Cleaning, Waitressing, Sleeping. You know how it goes. haha.

Nicole!

So I must say I LOVE my bestie.

I have never really mentioned her on here, except when making fun of past relationships because 50% of my opinion is always rooted in her advice. This past weekend we had talk after talk and all of them were so intellectual and either introspective or worldly. Topics of discussion included:

The Weather (in accordance to el nino/la nina)
Generation Gaps
Why we fall in love
Needs versus wants
How we learn
Why we learn the way we do
Why we're both crazy in our ways

My bestie is one amazing woman. I can't wait until I get over myself and get married so that she can be my maid of honor.
<3

Ephiphanies

So you can go to Texas State anytime and see the large number of people who look exactly the same. However, the greatest thing I have seen is the individuality in the people closest to me. My roommates are so sweet. I couldn't have asked for a less dramatic group of girls. I really am lucky.

I haven't found a job yet, but I know that if this interview on Monday goes well, I will have one soon. Johnny Carinos should hire me, which would be good. Also, one of the guys who works there lives in my apartment complex. (free ride to work?) haha. I don't think he knows that I know that we live near each other, but that's ok. I've always been one for being a creeper.

I am currently spending my weekend in Austin puppy sitting. It is so strange not being here permanently and running into people I used to know. Apparently last night Rain was THE place to be. I ran into EVERYBODY! It was awesome.

I can't wait for this semester. I have a pretty positive attitude.

Second Day of School!

So right now I'm technically working but the kiddos were watching T.V. and I couldn't help but want to update. I took my camera to school yesterday and got some really fun shots. And FUN NEWS the Texas State Facebook page is featuring some of them!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/texas.state?ref=mf

But here were my favorites!


This is Texas State at 7:30 in the morning


Outside of LBJ (where my first class is)

Walking to class.

Old Main

The area that made me fall in love with Texas State.

First Day at Texas State

So I decided to make my first day of school interesting by celebrating my last night of freedom the night before. My amazing oldest friend (and facebook wife) Renee drove to San Marcos to kidnap me. We decided to go to The Saint, a club in San Antonio. Kathy came too so we had a fearsome threesome going on. However I had three drinks in under an hour. I had fun club stalking someone who in the end told me "Sorry I was with someone, maybe next time" HA! I WIN!

Anyway, this post is about my first day at Texas State. I didn't get home until 4am last night. I had an AMAZING hangover. So I drag myself out of bed and drive to campus, however I can't remember where the parking lot is. I drive around and finally find a commuter lot. I happened to pick the lot on the opposite side of campus from my class. HOWEVER I did walk from one side of campus to the other in 10 minutes and managed to make it to class on time. (well two minutes late, but that's quite the accomplishment for being lost all morning.

So class was average. It's a business writing course where you learn how to write resumes and cover letters. After class I bought a poster, and started walking back to my car. I made it all the way from Flowers Hall to LBJ and decided I didn't have the energy to walk anymore. I stopped in the Student Center, grabbed a taco, and decided to do some facebook stalking. There were two girls sitting at the table behind me and after some careful ease dropping I gathered that these girls were out at some point partying and had a really good time. THEN - Girl two says to girl one-
"So this morning I pulled out my tampon and a condom came with it"

SO. GROSS.

Welcome to Texas State.

Money Money Money Money

Dear Texas State,

Can I have my money now?
Kthanks,

Ashley

Money management skills need to take place asap when I move. I am going to budget, and ACTUALLY follow my budget. I am going to COUNT my money.
And no more buying drinks for people!

Well Then

My big, fat, gaping mouth needs to close.
*note to self* work on that.

Tattoos

So I love tattoo art and I got bored and found a few I wanted to share. These were really cool and just kinda caught my eye. Or Cracked me up.





I would love for my tattoo to look more like that. And less like this.

Soundtrack of my life

So I have noticed lately that I can listen to a song and know that it applies to a certain emotion, time period or event in my life. So I started drafting "The Soundtrack of My Life"

My Birth - Brown Eyed Girl
- My parents were under the impression that I was supposed to be a boy, then surprisingly I was born a girl. I'm the middle child of two boys and I love how girlie yet still tomboyish I am!

My Parents Divorce - The Dance by Garth Brooks.
My mom is the reason I picked this song. I think that she believes that while losing my dad was really hard, she wouldn't trade it because of those special moments they had.

My first crush - Check Yes Or No
Yes, during third grade I loved country and a boy named Matt Hoskins. We would pass notes and I think we really liked each other. Once, we held hands under our desks (which sat next to each other) Then for Christmas, I kissed him on the playground and ran away. Yeah. Real Smooth.

My Move to San Antonio - Don't Speak by No Doubt
I was so pissed when my mom moved me from Canyon Lake to San Antonio. It was such a hard adjustment for me and I think I became a huge bitch because it was so hard. I didn't know how to handle everything.

My Crush on Bryan Powell - Carousel by Blink 182
I had the dumbest crush on Bryan Powell for FOUR YEARS. 6th through almost 10th grade. He was in my math class in 6th grade, and I believe I tragically loved him from afar until 8th grade when I finally realized he would never quit liking another girl (I won't out him here). But when I moved to Austin I missed him sitting behind me in advisory so I had a photo of him and Kathy Standage in my locker.

My "run away" - The Anthem by Good Charlotte
Okay, so I was a total loser in 8th and 9th grade and I liked good charlotte. Not only that but I was a total jerk to my parents. At one point I decided to jump on a Greyhound to San Antonio from Austin without telling anyone. DUMB.

Meeting the Nerdherd - A Decade Under the Influence by Taking Back Sunday
So even after meeting the nerdherd and having the most amazing group of friends ever, I still had something bothering me. It was because I hadn't found my passion for music yet. Through Renee, Sam, and Ashley Brandt, I learned how to rock out. Every day. It was so awesome.

My Crush on Darin Moore (High School) - Bathwater by No Doubt
quote "I still love to wash in your old bathwater, love to think that you couldn't love another, I can't help it, you're my kind of man" I painstakeingly watched this boy date around for MONTHS wishing he would date me. I put up with so much crap, and acted like a total creeper. But I couldn't help it! :) Oh high school.

Samuel Edward Belisle - Playing for Keeps by Matchbook Romance
Self Explanatory. Man I was into him.

Moving to Austin with Sam - Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer
Sam and I had this honeymoon phase before Ashley Brandt moved in. It was amazing.

First year in Austin - Alive with the Glory of Love by Say Anything
This pretty much sums up the fun, crazy times Ashley Brandt, Margaret and I had. Plus Say Anything was just too much fun. Summed up my first experiences being on my own.

Breakup with Sam- My Stupid Mouth by John Mayer
I literally have a very stupid mouth. Damn my hard headedness!

Affairish thing with Darin- Again, Again by Lady Gaga
Yeah I know this song didn't exist then but it essentially sums up what I was thinking at the time.

Living with Margaret - Get Low by Flo Rida
Marg always thought this song was about her cause she's short. I loved the random dancing and singing we did. Especially in my car.

Worst summer ever - Hang me up to dry by Cold War Kids
*sigh* I'm so glad that's over with

Internship with Vinyl Entertainment - Tell me what to do by Metro Station
So I loved this internship so much, I quit. hahha four in the morning is sooo intense for me!

Dating Chris - Chasing Pavements by Adele
I couldn't figure out if I should or shouldn't be with him for a while. It was so hard to decide what was and wasn't worth it. Luckily a Brit taught me to just love and live.

So that pretty much catches me up on intense musical connection in my life. My internship was exactly one year ago and while I have events like meeting Chris, moving in with my dad, getting into Texas State etc... I haven't had enough time to connect with the music of my recent past yet.

Music is Life. <3 My life is a musical.

Hey!

So I couldn't figure out how to put this on Facebook so I gave up and decided to put it on here!
This is to Christopher Daniel Montes, person who taught me the meaning of fun, and how to relax. I can't wait to watch Planet Earth with you again.
Happy 21st Birthday Chris! Enjoy it in England!




I had spent probably 14 hours with the boys, UGH! I look like death. Maybe I can send another one when I go out with Jamie and I look better!

but anyway this is for Chris... Happy Birthday!

Im so excited

http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/14766428/standardformat

WELL THEN.

I paid my tuition today! I am officially a texas state student.
SCARY.
but exciting...

Dance.

I want to dance again. I miss it so much.
And not downtown...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuMVaAxuH6o

UPDATE ON THE LITTLE BOYS

Hey Everyone!

The kiddos and I are having a fun summer. So far we've been out on the boat, at the pool, and riding around the block. Yeah, we have our lazy days of video games and T.V. Yesterday was a marathon of The Suite Life so Cameron wouldn't go outside. haha.

Some of the issues I'm facing are my level of patience and nudity. I know that the boys seem older, but B has to be convinced to not be in his underwear. He'll also get dressed and when I turn around his shirt is missing. Is this a boy thing? Establishing your body? I've started forcing him to put his shirt on and keep it on since school is getting closer. Wouldn't want him running around first grade naked... kinda awkward!

Oh Cam. He tests my patience every day. He's pushing the boundaries of control, humor and independence. Such as is I tell him he needs to do something he says "I'm in the middle of something!" Or he says "So..." with a shrug if I give him an explanation for doing something. OH I HATE IT. But hey, he's growing up and "getting to that age" He's 9 going on 16. :(

Okay Pictures!
Cameron and Cinnamon the Guinea Pig!!!

Cinnamon!!! He's so cute!

We found mushrooms in the yard. I thought this one was cool. It was HUGE! It's hard to tell that the grass is actually pretty high in this photo.


Cameron hanging off the railing on the back porch. If you look close he has chocolate all over his face.

Anyway. Work is awesome. I can't wait to go out this weekend though! <3 Work Hard, Play Harder!

The Web

Okay so I got bored at a restaurant and was still contemplating my relationship status with the men of the world when I realized.
My GOD. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE JUST AS SLUTTY AS I AM! Who cares if I have a good time!?

Now this may seem mean, or rash. All of my friends really aren't "Sluts" but we do all share the same sense of female freedom to be sexual. Which is totally okay. If men can use us, we can use men. Right? Well maybe not. Especially since I have a clingy nature that causes me to crush on anyone who looks my direction (who looks good). Yet there is nothing wrong with a happy sexual desire often fed by too much goose. Also, some of these are a stretch since I was trying to get as many of my direct cohort on the web as possible.


Now just for explanation: Solid lines represent actual physical relationship. Whether it be making out or sleeping together. DOTTED LINES represent emotional, non physical relationships. Crushes, platonic relationships that never went farther etc. If I had to re-do the "high school friends web of connection" I would put Elise as the center. But hey, it's my blog.

Time to sloowwww downnn.

Okay.
So I am going to do two things this next week.
NOT drink.
NOT go downtown.

I have been crazily going out and drinking and making some really hilarious choices. Nothing to shake your finger at, but looking back I certainly never act like this. Honestly, I am having a good time and wondering if I like this new lifestyle. It isn't something I could keep up with during the school year and I'll probably slow down when school starts.

When you work hard
Play harder.

We were slow dancing in a burning room... but now...

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as was your plan
But when my loneliness is through, I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another, I hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you

Bones to pick.. or ant bites

Okay so I am having an awesome summer so far.
Although... I have some bones to pick with Texas.
ONE:
Hundred degree MONTHS. 25 days in a row of 100+ temperatures.
FORGET IT! Let's go to the lake!



TWO:
Fire Ants. Every time I get bit by a fire ant I feel I should go to community service to make up for the horrible deeds I did to cause karma to send fire ants after me.
UGH I HATE THEM!

But good news is here! The boys and I are baby sitters! Cameron's class pet from third grade, Cinnamon the Guinea Pig, is our house guest for the next month! He doesn't like blue berries, it was an experiment. He does enjoy carrots and hay. I keep calling him Coconut because thats what Brandon named his stuffed guinea pig he received when he broke his arm.

Also, I had an amazing time with my friends this weekend in San Antonio. For a long time I resented many of my friends because of drama that in fact didn't involve me or them. So now that we're "grown up" haha I think I can simply enjoy someones company without all the baggage. The river was BEAUTIFUL I definitely want to go back sometime this summer.

What a weekend. But GOOD driving home music.

Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two
Where summers lasted longer than
Longer than we do
Where nothing really mattered
Except for me to be with you
But in time we all forgot and we all grew

Your melody sounds as sweet
As the first time it was sung
With a little bit more character for show
And by the time your father's heard
Of all the wrong you've done
Then I'm putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home

If i've forgotten how to sing
Before I sung this song
I'll write it all across this wall
Before my job is done
And I'll even have the courtesy
Of admitting I was wrong
As the final words before I'm dead and gone

You've never been so divine
In accepting your defeat
And I've never been more scared to be alone
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep
Then I'm putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home

Family

So I had an amazing time at my family reunion. I love the whole bunch of crazies!
Here are a few of my favorite moments.

That was Debbie being hilarious


Muwahaha Me WAKESURFING so badass.

Me and Cameron. We were about to tube and Debbie was throwing us around like CRAZY. IN fact, we went 6 feet in the air and landed it. Oh yes.

Cut your losses.

I've had less than my fair share of lucky breaks
And enough of this fooling around
I've got one last chance to get rid of my past
And bury it deep in the ground
And no matter what you try man
You're never gonna tear me down

When the only blame you cast is your own
And your only guarantee is your fear of the unknown
If you don't cut your losses before you get lost
They're never going to leave you alone

My best bits of advice I'll repeat only twice
After that you can fend for yourself
If you think that your shoes couldn't find better use
About just about anyone else

You need to face up and fold
Or deal with the hand you're dealt

Make up your mind
Are you in are you out
I've no patience for your impetuous doubt

When the only blame you cast is your own
And your only guarantee is your fear of the unknown
If you don't cut your losses before you get lost
They're never going to leave you alone
No


I've had less than my fair share of lucky breaks
And enough of this fooling around
I've got one last chance to get rid of my past
And bury it deep in the ground

Make up your mind
Are you in are you out
You'd be better served as a face in the crowd

You never want the truth to be told
And all your major concerns are out of your control
If you don't pick your feet up to come back around
You get stuck in my way to get wronged

When the only blame you cast is your own
And your only guarantee is your fear of the unknown
If you don't cut your losses before you get lost
They're never going to leave you alone
Leave you alone

Pizza Day

The boys and I had an awesome day on Friday. We made a homemade pizza with tons of cheese and pepperonis. Each boy made their own half and it turned out surprisingly awesome. I can't wait to do this again but maybe buy olives and mushrooms. :) We'll see! Here are some cool shots I got catching our adventures.






Hope you enjoyed! This is my first photo post. We'll see how this goes!
<3 Shermy

Secrets

So I am a pretty consistent reader of post secret. (Thanks to Margaret Sandberg). Normally when I read the entries I am surprised to see secrets that could relate to me, or I could have written them myself. So I decided to write a couple secrets, knowing no one really reads this.

- I miss you so much, I wish you were a good enough friend to call me.

- I am crazy in love with who you are, but I was never good enough for you.

- I would pay a million dollars just to make you leave your girlfriend. Everyone hates her!

- Once, I hit one of the kids I watch. Sometimes I think if he had a different nanny, his tantrums wouldn't be as bad.

- I wish I had never dated you. I lost who I was because I was trying so hard to make you want me. I still care about you, and think about you, but only because I'm worried you'll end up a shitty person.

- I know it was one day, and we haven't really talked since ... but I wish I could repeat that night a million times over. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time.

- I wish I could stay at ACC because I know its too easy for me. I'm scared I will actually have to study next year.

I had been meaning to post this...

Summer!

Okay so summer so far has been crazy! I am having quite the adventure getting closer to Cameron. Brandon and I have always been close, probably because he was 3 when I started working for him, so he has always climbed into my lap or cried on my shoulder. Now that this is my fourth summer working for this family, Cameron has FINALLY gotten to where he will give me huge hugs or sit super close to me. Last night, out of frustration, Cameron simply flopped on the couch and put his head in my lap. This is SO out of his realm of normalcy. I just scratched his head and pretended this was nothing out of the ordinary, but on the inside I was going "HAHA! YOU DO LIKE ME!"

In sequence of events the boys and I have:
Created:
Oobleck
Muddy Buddies
"Gak"
Cake
Cupcakes

Experienced:
A soccer party with 40 guests, 23 Kids, 15 Water guns, 3 boats, 2 wake boards and 1 hot tub.
A Broken arm
Jealousy and bickering
A guinea pig named Coconut and a Tortoise named Torta.
Swinging one handed
The punishment for shooting Ashley in the eye. (nerf, not airsoft thank goodness)
The joy of racing a popsicle in 100 degree weather

All in all, I love my job!!

Ugh.

I have 300 friends on facebook...
but no one to go have a drink with.
Whats the point of being 21 then?

Despite getting rid of everything I thought was making me unhappy... I'm still really sad.
I don't know why...

(I went back to edit this post for several reasons)

Okay so I was super bummed the day Brandon broke his arm, and I couldn't help but be super lonely on a day I literally spent over 24 hours with the boys. I was craving adult interaction BAD!
However the VERY next night by wonderful Bestie Buennisima and I went to see hangover, and decided to have a hangover of our very own. Well actually I didn't have one, but Buennie might have.

We discovered the annoyances of men. How they believe if you're wearing a short skirt, they can rub up on you. (not!) That if you look really pretty, obviously you're single!
I wish there were a place where taken ladies can still act like single ladies!
Oh yeah, RAIN!

Dear Gay Men,
I love you.
<3
Ashley

Summer

Summer so far has been awesome!
Last week I started watching Brandon who is such a great kid. He is a very inspired learner and just yearns to know and be ahead. We worked on spelling and math, and he discovered he knows how to do two digit math. (without much guidance!) Cameron got out of school on Thursday and we celebrated with baking a "last day of school chocolate cake."
Friday was a BIG day. On Saturday the boys had a soccer party planned for Cameron's soccer team and their families. They were all going out to my uncle's lake house in Marble Falls, TX. He has a huge house with a two story boat dock complete with rope swing, boat, and jet skis. There were 10 players, 12 siblings, and at least 20 parents not including a couple sets of grandparents!
So on Friday we packed and got everything ready so that when Scott got home all he would have to do was pack up the car and we could go in the morning.
Friday night was Animal Collective at Stubbs. I had a GREAT time! Watching Chris and all of his friends dance was pretty amusing/awesome. I was soo tired though so I enjoyed one song sitting on a giant rock wall and people watching. Chris is soo energetic! It was a lot of fun just watching him!
Over the weekend I experienced tubing, watching two 9 year old boys wake board simultaneously behind a boat, mothers crying because they didn't want their kids to grow up, and mothers flicking off a boat driver after being thrown off a tube.
And today I have tonsillitis! What a life I lead.

So far...

My semester can be summed up in one Nietzsche section: As can be the start of my summer, which is bleeding into the finale of my time at ACC. (Thank goodness)

We have forsaken the land and have embarked! We have burned our bridges behind us—indeed, we have gone further and destroyed the land behind us! Now, little ship, look out! Beside you is the ocean: to be sure, it does not always roar, and at times it lies spread out like silk and gold and reveries of graciousness. But hours will come when you will realize that it is infinite and that there is nothing more awesome than infinity. Oh, the poor bird that felt free and now strikes the walls of this cage! Woe, when you feel homesick for the land as if it had offered more freedom—and there is no longer any "land"!

Racing...

I have so many worries and concerns lately,
But one of the biggest concerns I have is that I am always concerned. I have always been someone who was discontented with my current situation. Even in early elementary school I would make up stories about what was going on in my life so that I would seem more interesting. I would say I went to Disney Land, or skiing, or maybe to Europe. When in fact, I have yet to ever go to these places. But I want to turn a new leaf. I am just 4 weeks shy of being 21 and I'm tired of being upset and stressed out all the time.
Fuck the past.

In America I saw the freest and most enlightened men placed in the happiest condition that exists in the world; it seemed to me that a sort of cloud habitually covered their features; they appeared to me grace and almost sad even in their pleasures.
The principal reason for this is that the first do not think of the evils they endure, whereas the others dream constantly of the food they do not have.
It is a strange thing to see with what sort of feverish ardor Americans pursue well being and how they show themselves constantly tormented by a vague fear of not having chosen the shortest route that can lead to it.
-Tocqueville

Things I am worried about...

Okay so here is my list of things I need to handle.

Tickets- I have two and I have to pay for both by the 30th. They total 356$

School (future)- I got into both UTSA and Texas State, but one of my biggest fears is that I am settling for an education I am not passionate about. Texas State isn't that great of a school and UTSA is in not that great of a town. I am just not enthused about San Antonio.

School (now)- I am considering the fact that I am not sure about my grades and my photography courses are going to F*up my gpa. Do I drop and waste my money? Or do I continue and risk my gpa falling too low.

Friends- I have people I can call and talk to. But I feel like I don't have a niche anymore. I don't feel like I truly relate to any of my friends. We are all constantly changing and the expectations are so inconsistent. I worry about some. I miss others. I wish things had or hadn't happened between some of my male friends I miss so much.

Moving- Where will I live next year? Should I flip a coin and let fate decide? Or am I really the decisive factor...