Racing...

I have so many worries and concerns lately,
But one of the biggest concerns I have is that I am always concerned. I have always been someone who was discontented with my current situation. Even in early elementary school I would make up stories about what was going on in my life so that I would seem more interesting. I would say I went to Disney Land, or skiing, or maybe to Europe. When in fact, I have yet to ever go to these places. But I want to turn a new leaf. I am just 4 weeks shy of being 21 and I'm tired of being upset and stressed out all the time.
Fuck the past.

In America I saw the freest and most enlightened men placed in the happiest condition that exists in the world; it seemed to me that a sort of cloud habitually covered their features; they appeared to me grace and almost sad even in their pleasures.
The principal reason for this is that the first do not think of the evils they endure, whereas the others dream constantly of the food they do not have.
It is a strange thing to see with what sort of feverish ardor Americans pursue well being and how they show themselves constantly tormented by a vague fear of not having chosen the shortest route that can lead to it.
-Tocqueville