OK OK OK!

So in these past few weeks I have made a lot of realizations about myself. I have been transitioning from a past life that I loved. Austin represented a lot of creativity and fun and growth for me. Now that I'm in San Marcos, working heavily on my degree, I can start to feel myself transitioning from adolescent to young adult.
No, I'm no where near the end of my degree, but I have found that it is not through milestones that you find maturity and your path through life. It is instead through your own profound epiphanies that you move forward and create yourself. I know so many of my friends beginning to graduate and work on their own personal lives, and have began to notice they're not leaving me behind, but I'm moving with them. While some of my colleagues have a piece of paper, I have independence, I have self confidence, I have responsibility, I have love. I'm ready to slow down, and start enjoying focusing on the future.
After my bad summer (I like to call it this because it wasn't one single event, but a group of them that broke me down) I started doing a lot of self analyzing. What am I feeling, Why am I feeling this, and How do I change it? But recently I have started looking outward, how is THAT person effected by me? What change and good am I evoking? My only goal as a young child was to change the world around me. I think I'm getting closer to that.

I'm in love with a man who loves me not because of what I offer, but because I changed him. I recently tried to end our relationship because I was scared. I was scared of falling in love so hard again. I'm always afraid another Sam. So late at night on the phone, he cried to me that if it wasn't for me, he didn't know where he'd be today. I had saved him.
I sat outside my grandmother's grave recently and told her, "You just missed him, but I think this is the one. But don't tell anyone okay?"

Positive Change is what Makes Me Happiest.