Five summers ago I went home crying every day my first week of work. I wasn't sure if kids were my calling. I couldn't figure out why Debbie hired me. Five summers later, I'm crying at 8am because I don't know what I will do without these little hearts telling me "Good Night Ashwee".
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Nanny Observations.
So there are many women I encounter as a nanny that I am in awe of. Single moms, women with several children, women who have overcome obstacles that show me that in the future I will be capable of the role of mother, wife, and matriarch.
There is mom 1. Neighbor who's husband left her with nothing. Well actually, with two children and a whole life to reorganize. Her story made me analyze how people fall out of love. The internal turmoil that a man must struggle with to pack in the middle of the night and be gone the next morning. I hope I never force a man to leave me like that. However, she is magnificently optimistic and full of energy. She has a beautiful home and her 16 year old has a brand new civic in the drive way. Win single mom.
Mom 2. Family friend who lost her mom to suicide as a young adult. I can't imagine my life without my mother, and the struggle she must have had to raise babies, plan Thanksgiving and Christmas without her matriarch to guide her through diaper changes and gravy recipes. I hope someday I am strong enough to be without my mother, but I pray it isn't before she kisses my newborn children and spoils them rotten. Or perhaps before she teaches me how to make her to die for apple pie.
I think about my current role as a college student and the labels it comes with. I am nanny, sister, daughter, friend, comedian, lover, dancer, and photographer.
These labels make me who I am currently but someday my roles in my career and relationships will mold me to be someone else. I have to realize that my feeling of stagnation with waiting to move is a misunderstanding, and I am actually forever molding.
There is mom 1. Neighbor who's husband left her with nothing. Well actually, with two children and a whole life to reorganize. Her story made me analyze how people fall out of love. The internal turmoil that a man must struggle with to pack in the middle of the night and be gone the next morning. I hope I never force a man to leave me like that. However, she is magnificently optimistic and full of energy. She has a beautiful home and her 16 year old has a brand new civic in the drive way. Win single mom.
Mom 2. Family friend who lost her mom to suicide as a young adult. I can't imagine my life without my mother, and the struggle she must have had to raise babies, plan Thanksgiving and Christmas without her matriarch to guide her through diaper changes and gravy recipes. I hope someday I am strong enough to be without my mother, but I pray it isn't before she kisses my newborn children and spoils them rotten. Or perhaps before she teaches me how to make her to die for apple pie.
I think about my current role as a college student and the labels it comes with. I am nanny, sister, daughter, friend, comedian, lover, dancer, and photographer.
These labels make me who I am currently but someday my roles in my career and relationships will mold me to be someone else. I have to realize that my feeling of stagnation with waiting to move is a misunderstanding, and I am actually forever molding.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The universe conspires!
LORDY!
I have had so much going on, but despite how large my stress level SHOULD be, I feel awesome. I sprained my ankle really bad about a week ago, I'm finally off crutches and should be perfect in a week. I'm hoping its well enough when I move to start dancing again.
I went to Victoria for a week to visit with my roomie and awesomely good friend Bonnie. I had a blast, learned a few hangover remedies, and met some really awesome people.
Nicole leaves tomorrow for her job in Victoria, I can't wait to go back and visit her. I'm sure she will love her job and fit in great!
I feel really awesome about life. I was so nervous because I decided to take a semester off, but now I think I'm going to enjoy the break from the stress. UTSA in the spring!
I have had so much going on, but despite how large my stress level SHOULD be, I feel awesome. I sprained my ankle really bad about a week ago, I'm finally off crutches and should be perfect in a week. I'm hoping its well enough when I move to start dancing again.
I went to Victoria for a week to visit with my roomie and awesomely good friend Bonnie. I had a blast, learned a few hangover remedies, and met some really awesome people.
Nicole leaves tomorrow for her job in Victoria, I can't wait to go back and visit her. I'm sure she will love her job and fit in great!
I feel really awesome about life. I was so nervous because I decided to take a semester off, but now I think I'm going to enjoy the break from the stress. UTSA in the spring!
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